writing
I have been journaling since the begining of the year. I got a journal for christmas and wrote the first entry around new years eve.
I have started to accept that I have a pretty deep internet/technology addiction. I spend a lot of my time on youtube, and when I try to abstain from youtube I tend always end up back on youtube.
Instead of abstaining, when I find myself on my phone or laptop, I now try to read instead of watch a video. The two places I read the most off of are here on bearblog and the other is Hacker News.
I like the articles posted on both.
I'm not really sure what to do now. Life’s seemed… weird ever after Covid. Like things are real but they are not.
Before we were characters in a play now we are just the actors milling about behind the set.
I’ve been looking for a new character to play but not much seems to fit. All the sets have been messed up.
Maybe the sets were always messed up. Always allowing peaks behind the curtains, I just didn’t notice.
Work, school, play, life. I’m not sure what I’m missing but I’m missing something.
I’ve been missing it for a long time. Some hole inside of me. It’s less noticeable at times than others. But it is always there, or at least seems always to reappear.
I guess I’m grateful for it. It reminds me that there is more. It reminds me to keep searching. It reminds me that this all ends. Whatever this is.
Whether it’s my shadow, an illness, or god I’m not sure. Its work is subtle but loud. Invisible yet brilliant.
Poetic comedy. A dramedy.