you met me at a very Chinese time in my life
Fuck.
I didn’t wear my cpap again and I can tell it’s leading to morning fogginess. Not getting enough oxygen to my brain while sleeping. This morning I am slow. I had a coffee with some almond milk and protein powder. I watched some YouTube videos. I did some light stretching. But I still feel groggy and kind of grumpy and kind of… I don’t know… sad? Angry? Lost?
I feel normal to an extent but not good by any means. It’s a weird feeling. Not the worst feeling but not the best. Meh, is how I would describe this feeling. Most mornings I wake up with this feeling of “Meh”. I’d like for less “meh” in my life. It’s hard to get going when I am feeling “meh”. I am hoping that doing some writing now will lead to less “meh” for the rest of the day.
The election stuff is going well… well it’s going ok. I’ve lost steam the past few days. I keep “shoulding” myself. I should be door knocking. I should be handing out flyers. I should be posting on instagram and social media and X. I should be doing more. I should be doing less.
Shoulding all over myself. Just BE my guy. My goy.
Yeah, fuck it. Breath. I am doing good. I am doing fine. I’m not sure what it is. That inner dread or grumpy. Writing is making me feel nicer. Laughing and saying things that make me laugh is making me feel nicer.
My friend just arrived from his girlfriend’s. He got me a coffee. Laughing and being with someone is making me feel nicer.
I spoke with a girl yesterday who was anti union. She was interesting. I spoke with a guy yesterday he said he’d consider running in municipal politics. I saw old friends and new friends.
I saw some fish and jellyfish.
I saw baseball fans and ate a chicken parmesan sandwich and fries.
I biked for two hours fifteen minutes. I did a little run. A brick workout is what they call that. I bricked it up.
I am going to China on Tuesday. The election is Monday. My friend and I are considering and brainstorming on creating a start up. Could be cool. Will be interesting.
Need to take inventory on this whole campaign thing. What went well, what didn’t. What to do next time, will there be a next time. What did I learn, did I learn. Those kinds of things.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
I can. I will. I must.
Possum. Volam. Debeo.