thank you grandpa.
Today is my Grandpa’s funeral. Thank you for coming all that could make it. And thank you to those watching online.
I wrote the following this morning.
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I have been struggling to write what I want to say. One part because I feel so complexly about his loss; another part because since his passing I’ve filled my schedule with so much social activities and work I’ve had little energy to sit down and write.
Again one part I think is me avoiding the uncomfortable feeling of loss; another part says this is the best way to honour him.
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My Grandpa was a great man.
Since I was a little boy I’ve been told this, seen this, and been in awe by this.
For most of my life I only knew Grandpa Bob the legend. The deal maker, the businessman, the problem solver.
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Grandpa had an intimidation factor to him; largely, I suspect, based on how parents, friends, other people talked about him to me my whole life.
He was different.
Built different.
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To me at first this was normal.
Everyone had a grandpa when you said hi or bye, instead of a hug, he would give you a handshake that would nearly tear your arm off (it’s important to have a strong handshake, he would say). Everyone had a grandpa that would advise the Premier, sit on multiple boards, be at rotary every Thursday, seemingly know every who’s who in Calgary on a first name basis. Wear a suit everyday and cowboy formal all stampede. Call a family board meeting, loan money, give money, help dig a ditch.
Be there for every sports game (at least all that mattered), graduation, birthday, Christmas, celebration, you name it. Be everywhere seemingly all at once.
As a kid he was just Grandpa; but as an adult as you gradually come to grasp what that all meant he became a legend.
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Legends are powerful but can lead you to think twice about yourself.
Especially when things aren’t working out.
Grandpa could this, why can’t I?
Grandpa wouldn’t need help with this, why do I?
Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa.
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Having an impressive Grandpa is good. It makes you strive.
Good grades, good at sports, good person. You do good because that’s who you are. What you are a part of.
Most kids I grew up with wanted to be doctors or lawyers or engineers or hockey players. I wanted to be like my dad and my grandpa.
A businessman. They make lots more money, own the hockey team and the building they play in, and seem to work less and vacation more.
I’ve come to realize now, I didn’t want to be a businessman (frankly business kind of sucks), I just wanted to be like my Dad and my Grandpa(s) (both of them; shout out to my Nonno).
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Grandpa taught me about money. The good that it does and the heartbreak.
He taught me its importance; and it is important; and in many cases it’s unimportance.
He showed me its dialectical nature. How it can seemingly be two opposite things at once. He showed me its ability to create; and its ability to destroy.
It’s a powerful thing.
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But he also showed me what is much more powerful; people.
A small group of people aligned with little to no budget can move mountains.
An army of unaligned people with unlimited resources won’t, and often can’t, lift a rock.
People solve problems; not money. He taught me.
Although money helps.
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It wasn’t until the past few years, and really this past year, I got to peak behind the curtain and meet Grandpa Bob the man. What I found humbled my picture of the legend but it also humbled me.
To be a legend, he showed me, you have to keep your word, apologize and communicate quickly when you can’t, recognize and thank the person helping you, and show up.
And Grandpa did that well.
He also showed me that asking for help is essential. Making, keeping and being a friend is the only way to survive life. Life is just too hard to go it alone; no matter your tax bracket.
It’s ok to make mistakes; it’s ok to fail. Failure is an essential part of learning and of life.
It’s ok and important to take risks; but know what the risks are.
Weigh your options, take your time, but don’t take so much time the opportunity passes you by.
Walk the middle path.
The Buddha talks much about the middle path. It is the hardest path to walk in life.
The middle path says to not be seduced into thinking one way of doing, being, believing is the right or only way. To consider everything. And find, that the correct answer, is typically somewhere in the middle.
To me, Grandpa was a great example of walking the middle path.
Sure, he was stubborn, fallible, erred, was mistaken, mistook, flat out wrong at times.
But aren’t we all.
But when he was, he would pick himself up; learn what went wrong; change is mind or approach; and move on or try again; whichever was appropriate.
I hope I can walk the middle path as well as my Grandpa. God knows I have and will continue to try.
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Here’s to looking forward; and honouring the past. As Bob always did.
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Thank you.