so... am i racist now?
It’s 2:26PM on Sunday in Guangzhou, China.
I’ve travelled more this year than I have in year’s previous. Last year the only places I travelled were between Calgary and Ottawa. If I went anywhere else I don’t remember. Or actually I did go to Tofino at the start of the year; that was nice.
The apple notes app I am writing on does not recognize Tofino as a word. That’s true for a lot of places and actually just a lot of English words as well. It’s kind of annoying. The dictionary needs to be updated with more words.
I haven’t been writing much. I think because there is lots happening in my life. It feels like I haven’t had the time… well mostly, haven’t had the energy. I don’t know what exactly that means but it feels right to write. lol. A funny thing to write, “right to write”.
I did a podcast update today with Erik. That was nice. We hadn’t done one in 10 days or so.
I made an instagram story of my friend “Phil” (a pseudonym we have been calling him to limitedly preserve some semblance of his privacy on the internet) who I am travelling with. He’s a Canadian first generation immigrant from Chinese parents who moved from Hong Kong before the change over of British to Chinese control. So in other words, he’s Asian.
Yesterday we had lunch on the grounds of the Canton fair. I took a picture of him (and me kind of) eating some fast-food clay pot rice. It was very delicious. The picture shows us in the middle of eating, perhaps 3/4’s done. We both enjoyed the meal. Well, I know I did. Phil said he did too.
I wanted to post an instagram story with the link of our podcast with a picture showing I was in china. So I used that picture of us sitting having clay pot rice. But my friend wanted his face blurred out which I respect.
So he’s asian and he has been helping me and my parents translate and make connections at this fair. I would say we are at that level of friendship where the friendship is stronger than any racial divide that separates us. He’s Canadian raised in Markham with roots of Hong Kong Chinese. I am Canadian raised just outside Calgary, roots of Italian/Waspy Canadian. I am white presenting as the sociologist would say.
So at breakfast I thought it would be funny to blur his face out by using a traditional ”Chinaman” emoji. Think of a yellow emoji with slanted eyes, buck teeth, and a rice hat. In the apple emoji keyboard there is no emoji like that. So I used the emoji face with the em-dash eyes and mouth. Used a triangle emoji as the rice hat. Two sushi looking emojis as the teeth. And then covered the rest of the picture with Chinese gifs. I added the link, the location, and 《大展鸿图》ft.AR刘夫阳 a song by 揽佬SKAI ISYOURGOD and posted it.
To be honest it was pretty racist. For sure in the modern sense. I did show it to “Phil” before hand. He told me he thought it was funny to post it.
I waited about an hour to think about it before posting it. I knew right away it was something I wasn’t supposed to do. But I found it funny.
I’m thinking why I found it funny.
For me, it’s the McRib. Jk.
For me, I think it is funny because I really like asian people and culture. I have a deep appreciation for it. My favourite food since I was little was rice. My family went to a Calgary staple, The Silver Inn (RIP), for MANY family dinners from ages 0 to 28 (I believe that is when it closed). I have asian friends. Arguably (and this is a controversial statement), my best friends are Asian. (Don’t worry non-asian friends reading this, you can always give me gifts and treat me well to move up to the top spot. Just kidding… or am I?)
So what does it mean for me to post a racist meme of my friend? Is it bad? Is it allowed? Am I racist? Will this affect my relationship to my asian friends? I am technically a politician now; will the asian population accept this or cast me out? Castigate me? I don’t know.
I think that’s why I posted it. Because it’s like hitting a beehive with a stick. The bees might come out and attack you but they also might not. But it’s kind of fun to see what happens regardless.
What is that? That desire to do something bad. To be transgressive. I know most of the people following me, but my relationship to each person is different. And they all have different relationships to asians, to Asia, to China. And each will interpret that post differently.
Will they judge me? Will they find it funny? Will it land? Will anyone even care? Will I get kicked out of China? Will my social credit score drop? Will I be looked down on? Will I be abandoned?
Shame.
I think that’s the emotion I feel about posting it. When “Phil” told me to post it; I think it was kind of like a juvenile dare. Like “ooh, you won’t post that. You’re too chicken.”. You don’t have the balls.
And I took that personally.
I posted it. And shortly after another one. Less racist but still kind of racist. Same emoji face, no hat, no gifs. Understated racist. Used another Chinese song. Made a one liner joke about the social credit score.
It’s kind of hard to tell what racism is even now.
One thing that I also find funny is that you will not find more racist people than asian’s towards other asian (other races too). Maybe that’s an over-generalization. Maybe that’s just my anecdotal experience. Maybe that’s not just asians. Maybe that’s white people. Maybe that’s all people.
In my experience, we are all racists at times (in the classical sense of the word). Sure, some people more than others. But, pound-for-pound, it’s a pretty common feature in humans.
The one’s who say they aren’t, in my experience, are usually the worst perpetrators of it.
It’s like that fun saying, “There is no worse oppressor than one who thinks they are doing it for the benefit of the oppressed”. I think that’s what occurred with the weaponization of sociological language against lower classes of Canadians.
I’m sure it’s happened in other places too, my experience is just Canada.
The language was warped by the university educated class to make all conversations around race taboo. To touch on race was to be a racist. To touch on race was to be a pariah. To touch on race was to be outcast. From jobs, from work, from sex.
To indoctrinate a populations women is a great way to indoctrinate the men. Speaking from experience.
I think that’s what Canada is suffering from. The men are not in charge. That was fine while the going was good. You get to do less when the woman works. It’s awesome actually.
But as/if things get worse and worse, it comes to the point where… why the fuck are we still letting them do this? This sucks.
People have been asking me what I think about China. I don’t know if men or women are in charge but I do know that they are getting shit done.
It makes me think. Jesus. White people, Canadians, Americans, the “West” get it together.
Yes, there is poverty. Yes, there is genocide. Yes, there is stark inequality. But so is there all over the world. So is there in Canada.
At least they don’t have people shitting in the streets here. At least they don’t have people doing the fentanyl fold here. At least the birds chirp and there is tranquility in the city.
That’s not the case in Canada. At least not the Canada I’m seeing.
Do we need to restrict interprovincial/national movement? Do we need to separate and segregate by race and religion and culture? Do we need to control every facet of peoples physical and digital lives?
No. The answer is no we don’t.
But we could at least clean the streets. We could at least provide jobs to young people so they can have kids. We could build big and cool shit. We could provide safe places in cities where a family could go with their baby to spend the day with other families and their babies without worrying about them picking up needles.
It’s a nice vision.
Listen, this is my first time in China. I’m staying in a tier 1 city, hosting one of its biggest event of the year. I know there is a lot of work going on behind the scenes to make this place look like paradise. At least i think.
We don’t need utopia but it would be nice to have some semblance of a social contract again.
The people in Canada I know, new Canadians and old, do not have much faith in the country providing much more than a low level of subsistence… and then only maybe.
The inequality in Canada is a joke. The white’s were once rich. The new rich are immigrants bringing money in from overseas. No matter the race, the monied class makes its money from debt peonage of the poor. It’s bad. There is not much hope.
What I am saying is that there should be and there can be.
Organize. Find your people. It takes one before it takes another.
An appetite for change is in the air. Get out there and help your fellow man eat.
A quote the instagram algorithm fed me I like, ”You get tested most when it’s time to evolve. Do not break.”.
Shame. Fear. Anger. Love. Hate. Joy. Regret.
Everyone feels it. Don’t forget.
Stay human.