quitting porn... again. nsfw.

06 Jan, 2026

tags: nsfw, sexually explicit, porn addiction

Happy insurrection day.

I think to celebrate the occasion I will give up hurting myself. By that I mean quitting watching porn. A friend of mine I saw over the Christmas season said that was going to be their new years resolution and I thought that would be a good idea.

The past week though it’s been tough not too. Especially when bored. Especially when I am supposed to be going to bed. I read this article about monk mode, it listed somethings to do when bored other than porn or scrolling.

Here is a list of recharging activities:

• Take a walk
• Do some stretching
• Exercise; just a few bodyweight exercises like pistols or pull-ups will do
• Take a nap
• Masturbate (without watching porn)
• Take a shower
• Clean your room

Did you note how all of these are physical activities that don’t require a screen? That is the common theme here.

All of them great but only go so far.

The thing I struggle with, maybe not the most but a lot, is the bed time routine. If I am honest my current bedtime routine is one of non-routine. Well there are elements of routine. I will for sure watch YouTube videos and then if the feeling arises or some stimulus in a YouTube video elicits a response it will be porn. And not just any porn, it will typically relate to some domination/submission fantasy; or at least end up there. The hedonistic treadmill of escalatory porn use.

Last night for example, I was watching some recap video of this anime series and a character, scandalously clad, neotonic in features, and before I knew it I was on a hentai site I had sworn I’d never go to again... again. Snap, just like that. Like, clock work.

It’s a pull like any addiction. The more you try to run away from it the harder it pulls. It really is quite intense. Some days it’s hentai, other days it’s what’s trending on pornhub, recently I’ve been into this couple Pure Pleasure (nsfw) where the girl pegs the guy and it seems quite vanilla but at the same time scratches the itch of the deviant enough to find arousing.

I think I’m into that. Or at least have the ability to get turned on by that. By that I mean the taboo or the deviant or the not allowed. I think I’ve always been that way to an extent. But from what I know about porn is that it makes you crave more and more stimulating content; so I think it is mostly that.

a note from the future (January 28th, 2026): I did some more reading on this and yes that seems to be a real thing. Here is a good intro article (sorry it has annoying pop ups), a good article of first hand accounts of porn escalation, and a good academic paper on the subject.

If you think you might be addicted to porn read this: The Easy Peasy Method.
Other resources for quitting porn <- lots of other good resources for life in general on this site

I have a blog post idea called either ”Efukt and its consequences” or ”9gag and its consequences” or something like that. Another one was gore.com. The premise would be just how having unmonitored/unfettered access to the internet growing up in the age I did shaped my mind, how it shaped many young men’s minds.¹

Newgrounds, pornhub, youporn, nudes from your friends, Brazzers. Two girls one cup, the pain olympics, lemon party, nigga flip. Man so much lore.²

Ever since I was little sex has always been there. One of my earliest memories is sitting in my parents room and on the tv was some show of naked women with balloons running into each other and popping them.

Another early memory was at our neighbours house; she was older and she was looking after her grandson. My brother and I were over, I think my brother was there, and the grandson popped in a tape into the VCR and some long haired dude was fucking a lady on a massage table. I can’t remember if they were doing anal or vaginal but to me as a kid I thought he was sticking his penis in her butt and then she sucked it and I thought ”Isn’t that not hygienic?”.

Since then yeah, it’s kind of always been on my mind. Like always. There are periods were it wanes but even then it comes back. It’s kind of like a monster that I can’t ignore. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t there but man is it there. And it’s hungry, like all of the time.

Oh man, I forgot about the time we [redacted]. We each took turns on my old (new at the time) Dell Inspiron 2000; can't remember who won.

Was it boys being boys? Sexual trauma? Bonding? All three? Maybe that's the kind of thing you're supposed to forget?

Who knows, not me.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways, I may write more about this. Might not.

Either way, thanks for stopping by.