brain dump, blah
Sitting at my friend’s house. At his kitchen table. My other friend is beside me. His sister and two of her friends are here as well. It’s a full place. Feels nice.
I really like it when people are just around. Being around people is good. I enjoying being alone but also with people. With both. It’s interesting that way you know. Life’s interesting you know?
I took my friend to Bragg Creek this afternoon. It was nice. My neighbours grandson and his wife came by before. We chatted for a couple hours. It was nice.
Since I’ve been back in Calgary, it has been really social. I really like that but I am also scared it will stop.
I am worried that I will be hit with the original malaise I felt before leaving. Why? Why am I worried? I don’t know.
I like that my friend is here. He has been helping me with AI and executive functioning and aligning the Feng Shui of my parents place.
There is a general feeling of worry I am feeling. I think because I know I am doing too much social stuff right of the bat of coming home I think. It’s fun and nice and I like it. But I don’t know or at least I don’t think it’s sustainable. Or maybe it is and I am getting in my head about it. Or I just need to slightly modify it. Or it will all crash and I’ll die and everything will explode and be ruined and I’ll become homeless and alone and miserable and everyone I know will leave me and die. Type shit. You know?
God. I’m exhausted. Or maybe just distracted. Or maybe neither.
You ever feel that way? Like things are all good but all bad? Like things are fine but maybe not forever? Like it will change soon and maybe not in a good way; or maybe in a great way. Maybe I’m just typing and writing and ranting over nothing. Maybe there is something. Maybe there is something and nothing and everything in between.
AI and writing and anger and singularity and symbology. You know?
You know?
We are watching Euphoria season 2. I’ve only watched a few episodes of season 1. We are watching like episode 3 or 4 or something like that.
Not sure what’s going on but it’s visually a very cinematic show.
Alright, that’s enough for today.